The house is asleep.
Well not the house, as it creaks & groans in the wind tonight, but the people are.
It's windy. I hear the jangle of my wind chime on the back porch. The clock on my wall ticks away the seconds in a staccato beat; offset by the second hand of the clock in the kitchen.
From my perch on my living room sofa, the lights of cars on the road flash through branches and trees, making shadowing flickers through my picture window: similar to the black & white flashing of an old film real.
My mind, spins and veers. It's how I process. Quiet, alone, brain wandering, & then writing.
My thoughts match the turbulent winds outside.
Angry forceful, unrelenting. a song enters my mind.
"Change my heart Oh God....make it be like You."
I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here. The music changes.
Here's my heart Lord, speak what is true....
I hear the furnace shut off in the basement, and I realize the wind has died down, & all i hear is the ticking clock, and the soft nighttime breathing of the people I love. My thoughts have calmed as well. My heart is still.
Sometimes it takes you realizing what's missing, to see what's there. The Anxiety, the fears no matter how unfounded, the struggle is gone. What is there, is Calm. Peace. Strength for the moment.
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